June 6, 2016

Now we have come to where the show finally gets its footing. It establishes all of our main characters as characters and gives them each a purpose (more or less…just go with it). Relationships and dynamics start to form and communication takes place. It’s fun!

So it’s one of those episodes of television that starts at the end. Haley, Brooke, and Peyton are in the same car driving along a long dark road and they happen upon Nathan and Lucas standing in the MIDDLE OF THE ROAD like a couple of goobers.

We are then taken back to the start of the school day. Haley and Lucas have a quick heart to heart as he tells her that it’s not her he doesn’t trust, it’s Nathan, even though he told her he didn’t trust her. It’s all a thing to establish that it takes a lot more than what happened to drive a wedge between best friends. Besides there’s more important things to think about, like Peyton who rudley interrupts their conversation to apologize for actin’ a fool last week and has made Lucas a mix tape entitled P.S. Whatever. Whatever, Peyton, whatever. It’s established during this mundane convo that the game is away this evening and far away so Lucas shouldn’t get any ideas that she might like him, just that she’s super thoughtful. Oh, and she had some free time…the smartest kid in school is studying for midterms, but SHE has “free” time. Yeah, right. P.S., whatever!

Meanwhile, two side walks down, Haley is approached by Nathan. He asks her to come to the game, that they always beat the Pinkerington “Hicks”. She’s all, wha? And Hicks are not really the mascot, they just call them that because of their lifestyle or something. They’re really like pigs or “Razorbacks” or something, IDK. She says maybe. He says I’ll look for you. She’s confused. SQUEEEEEEE!

Ok, either school was out or a chunk of time has passed because everyone’s home now? Deb and Dan are getting ready for a Small Business League dinner event which upsets Dan that it’s on a game night. He’s like, how could they? And Deb is all, nobody over the age of 40 cares about HS basketball games like you, ESPECIALLY when they are a AWAY games. Deb mentions she has gotten them a room but all Dan cares about is basketball. She says don’t mention basketball for 48 hours. And everybody yells, BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR DEB!

Getting ready for the same event is Karen. She enlists Lucas to help her pick a dress. He goes with the black one because, DUH, you can’t play Block That Fetus in a red dress. She’s  attending the event with Keith, but not as his date, just as a fellow small business owner going to the same place at the same time. Regardless, Lucas totally gives his blessing that if Karen wants herself some Keith lovin’, she can go on ‘head. Karen is all ew, Keith?  Yeah, no. But Lucas pushes even though Karen is just clearly NOT that into Keith.

While all that’s happening, Brooke pops into Peyton’s room. They’re still friends. Moving along. Let’s fastforward to the game. The other team is the Pirates. Oops, so, I’m not good with mascots. Innyway, in the stands Haley is reading a magazine while Mouth (minus Jimmy) is talking into a recording microphone. Poor Haley. On the sidelines Brooke is telling Peyton that she likes Luas, but Peyton has dibs until the weekend or something. Peyton acts like she doesn’t want Lucas. SPOILER ALERT: She does. Then Brooke notices Haley and is all like ew, what’s with the nerd having the attention of both the boys? Nathan does look for and finds Haley and gives her a little hey nod. Brooke sees this and posits that Nathan likes Haley, Haley likes Lucas, she likes Lucas, and she has no idea who Peyton likes. Again, SPOILER ALERT: Peyton likes Lucas. On the court, the game starts and Lucas and Nathan are already annoyed with one another. Nathan then says something tacky in reference to Haley during the other team’s free throw attempt. Lucas then insults Nathan’s manhood during an inbounds play. This enrages Nathan and he throws the ball really hard at Lucas’s back. Lucas turns and attacks Nathan. The boys fall into Brooke. The boys get ejected from the game and Brooke has to go get her leg looked at by the trainer because those boys are big and her leg is tiny and now it hurts.

We learn on the team bus that they won the game, but Whitey is still unhappy with the Scotts so he KICKS THEM OFF THE BUS! They will now have to walk 30 miles to work out their issues without cellphones or money because that stuff got to stay on the bus. If Whitey did that today, he would be SO FIRED! But it didn’t happen today and his idea kind of works. The boys have to team up as they get forced into a car by some Pirates players. They are forced to take all but their underwear off. At one point they are told to duke it out for their clothes and ride to a phone. Nathan is smart and starts to fight Lucas. He uses this to get the car keys and trades keys for clothes. I don’t know why they have SO many keys on one ring, though. When it comes time for the actual car key, Nathan pretends to throw it because he doesn’t need a shirt. They try to drive away but the car is stuck in the mud. They bail and find a hiding spot. The Pirates drive around for awhile and then eventually disappear into the night. In their hiding spot Nathan and Lucas have a chat about what an abusive asshole Dan is and Nathan assures Lucas that he’s better off not knowing Dan. Oh, and Nathan is now wearing Lucas’s sweathshirt. The boys decide to leave their spot because they can totally take on 3 giant guys.

SPOILER ALERT: One day they will all be best friends.

Meanwhile, the girls are still at the school. Brooke scams the trainer into giving her two painkillers. She takes them both when just half of one is the dose. She is all Whoo! Haley runs into Peyton, don’t know why, just go with it. She helps her get Brooke to the car. The last fan bus has left so Brooke, in her stupor, makes Peyton take Haley along. They all pile into Brooke’s car and are off. Peyton tells Haley not to touch the stereo, music is her department. Haley’s’ all, ok, P.S., whatever. The two talk in the front while Brooke is crazy in the back. Eventually they run out of gas and they lock Brooke in the car to go get some gas. The station is closed so Haley siphons some out of  a nearby truck because that’s how Hales rolls. When they get back Brooke is passed out and they are back on their way. Eventually, Brooke wakes up jusand she is back to her old self just as Peyton makes a big gesture and is going to allow Haley to choose the music. Brooke’s mean to Haley for really no reason at all and upsets the good time they were having and nobody picks any music.

In grownup land, they are at their SBL dinner and guess what, everyone we know that was going is at the SAME table plus two people we don’t know, but Dan manages to insult them anyway. That’s all Dan does all night is insult people, especially Keith. See, be careful what you wish for Deb. If you would’ve let him follow the game on his phone, everyone would’ve had a much more delightful evening. Keith gets hammered embarrassing stuff happens to him and Karen takes him home. While there they each reveal that they were pretending that they were on a date. Then Keith tells Karen that he’s always loved her and goes to sleep on the couch as Karen looks all starey face of doom. IDK, she’s really meh on Keith it seems. Back at the party, Dan and Deb have a falling out because he’s an ass.

So, Lucas and Nathan are walking in the middle of the road. Naturally they think it’s the three guys again so they steel themselves in the middle of the road ready to absorb the impact of whatever car is coming around the bend. Luckily, it’s the girls and luckily Peyton has experience at stopping in time to not hit Lucas while he is standing in the middle of the road. Everybody is confused as to how/why any of them are hanging out. And they all drive in silence with the top down the remainder of the 30 miles they had to go.

Back at school the next day everything is just as it was before. Haley two sidewalks down from the in crowd and walking all alone.

Episode Notes:
PLOT: In order to get home after an away game, some unexpected pairings occur. Meanwhile, the adults are acting like children.

BEST PART: When Brooke names Haley, Brooke. It has a pretty well delivered pay off later when the car runs out of gas Peyton asks, ‘Brooke,  did not think to check the gas?’ And Brooke looks at Haley and says, ‘Answer the question, Brooke’. It’s something like that. It’s funny.

LESSON LEARNED: Just because you have an adventure with someone, it doesn’t make them your friend. They most likely won’t talk to you ever again. A sad, but true, lesson. Sorry.

BEST LINE: “How you doin’, Boozy?” – Dan Scott. Delivered so straight, it’s hilarious. I know Keith is supposed to be wasted, but the line seems to catch Scheffer off guard and it may’ve been a genuine laugh. That’s what I choose to believe anyway. It’s like just too genuine.

Until next time…tooda loos!