June 10, 2016

So we open on Lucas’s decision even though we only care about if Naley did it. Lucas chose Brooke. Huge surprise, only not. Oh, it’s Naley, they are on the bed fully clothed in what they wore all day yesterday. And then they kiss, before brushing their teeth…ew! Not the worst moment in Naley’s story, though, unfortunately. Nathan has to get back to his crappy life and assures her that when she’s ready he’ll be ready, no pressure.

Meanwhile in “Adult” Town, Dan walks into the Cafe with flowers for Deb. He tells her he wants to apologize and make things right and has planned a whole weekend away for them. She’s all, Satan please, um, no, now git. And then she’s all, on second thought, take my only child with you.

At school, Haley and Lucas are having a chat about how Lucas chose Brooke because she’s in high school and Peyton’s in Gloom Town. Haley is disappointed in his choice, but comes to the conclusion that as long as Lucas is happy she’s happy. He asks if she really is happy, you know, since she’s with Nathan and all, I guess. She says she is. I enjoy their friendship. Next up we have a quick chat with Brooke and Peyton. Brooke’s confused why Peyton seems to be avoiding her and wants to talk about Lucas. I could try and defend Brooke here, but I won’t because at this point, if you think your best friend is upset about the guy you’re dating, then you KNOW what’s up with her. I don’t enjoy their friendship as much.

Then we have Lucas finding Jake asleep under a tree. Lucas doesn’t know why he would be doing that, but we do. They walk to practice only to find out with the other guys that basketball is cancelled. Whitey tells them they’ve all lost sight of what matters. Tim expresses disappointment. Jake says speak for yourself, Whitey just did me a favor. Shut up, Jake! SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP! Nobody said you had to play basketball. Oh, and Whitey wasn’t even thinking about you. EVERYTHING is about Nathan. Seriously, all of it. Shut up, Jake.

Lucas realizing he has some free time on his hands decides to go tell Peyton he’s sorry. She’s like, oh, don’t worry about it. It’s totally ok. Lucas, go away and leave her alone! Next up we are back at the Cafe. Deb is sadsville because they are bleeding customers. Haley says it’s not you, the university is on a break. Which isn’t true…it’s Deb. Deb brings Dan around and NOBODY likes that guy. Unfortunately, he has the only car dealership in town which is why he gets any customers at all. Haley proposes an Open Mic Night. Yeah, because coffee house junkies LOVE “singer/songwriters”. Deb thinks it’s a good idea, but she wants to ok it with Lucas first. She’s been meaning to talk to him since he’s been avoiding her and the Cafe. Haley’s all, ok, whatevs, she’s gotta go tutor Nathan. We cut to scenes of Brooke not realizing she’s trying to pretend everything’s ok. And then Dan and Whitey talking. It goes about as well as it usually does. We also have Dan breaking the bad news to Nathan that he has planned a father/son weekend. Nathan is not thrilled.

We come back around to Haley making terrible flyers for the Open Mic Night. She’s talking on the phone with Nathan while he’s in the car with Dan. Dan makes him feel bad about talking to his girlfriend so he says he’ll call her later. Haley’s signs are pretty terrible so she hunts down Peyton on the street. Peyton agrees to help her. Back in Peyton’s room she has designed a flyer. Brooke calls and Peyton is all like everything’s fine, bye. She and Haley go print out the flyers and put them places.

Meanwhile, Deb finds Lucas at a little grocery shop. She walks up to him and he is not playing it cool at all. She runs the Open Mic Night by him and he’s all, sounds great. And she’s like, you don’t have to avoid me. And he’s all like, cool. She asks if he’s alright because if he’s trying to act like he’s not up to no good, he’s doing a really bad job at it. And as if on cue, well because she is, Brooke pops over to him with a big box of condoms and a can of whip cream. He’s all, Brooke, notice your surroundings for ONCE IN YOUR LIFE! She’s all, oops. Out by the car she tries to say that Nathan is bad so Deb has no room. And Lucas is all, SHE TALKS TO KEITH AND MY MOM! YOU ARE AN IDIOT. And she’s all, oh, yeah, ok. Sure enough, Deb tells. Like it’s any of her business. Good luck getting Lucas to talk to you now. I swear, nobody in this town will call the cops when a child’s life has been endangered, but they’ll tattle on them if they’re about to have sex. Shut up, you lawless town.

Despite knowing that Deb would’ve told by now, they go to Lucas’s room to try and do it. They of course don’t get to because Keith totally busts up in the room and is like, nope. Brooke leaves and Keith tells Lucas he’s been a real douche lately. Lucas says Nathan is a bazillion times worse. And Keith’s all, so, last I checked, your name was Lucas and you used to be a nice guy. Lucas squints. Later Lucas happens upon this terrible sound of someone trying to sing. Oh, it’s Jake. Shut up, Jake. Jake acts all dumb and Lucas is all, I’m out. But then Jake invites him in and shows him his daughter. Lucas is all, oh look, a baby. Lucas tells him that he should stop hiding her. She’s going to think you’re ashamed of her like I thought my mom was ashamed of me. And Jake’s all, I’m not. And Lucas is all, here’s a flyer for Open Mic Night. Just a quick thing, if Jake isn’t ashamed of her, then why would he leave her all ALONE inside without a baby monitor when he could’ve set her outside with him on the porch. Shut up, Jake! This revelation takes Lucas down a new path. He reverts back into the Lucas we met in the first episode and apologizes to Keith. That’s his new path…for now. Meanwhile, his little brother is being tortured. He finds out at the hotel that the weekend was originally planned for his mom. Ew, he says. Dan doesn’t want to give up the view so he asks for a cot for his boy to sleep on instead of getting a room with an extra bed. Nathan thinks about cutting him up into tiny pieces and stuffing him in that king size mattress. Haley calls to ask a question. We’ll never know what it’s about since it’s never hinted at before or after he interrupts her and says I’ll have to call you back, I’m busy. Dan’s all like, good for you son, treating people rudely is the only way to treat them. Meanwhile, on the other end, Haley’s all, hm, must be Satan and she moves on with her day.

Keith and Whitey have a wiseman convo. He tells Keith that Lucas will find his way back to being Lucas. If only they knew he was scared straight by an actual baby and not by anything any of you two ever said to him. In the meantime, Nathan is on the worst weekend trip ever. For starters, he’s being forced to play golf. For seconds, he’s being forced to play such a boring and needlessly difficult game with Satan. No one wants to play with that guy. He belittles Nathan the entire time. Nathan badly shanks the last putt on purpose and tells off his dad while a whole line of old dudes is all like, hey idiots, get off the greens, it’s our turn.

Oh look, Peyton’s back at Thud turning in some “art” when who does she pass by? None other than Gavin DeGraw. He’s playing a show in a bigger town so he does an interview with a small town ‘zine. Cool, he’s up and coming at this point so it actually makes sense. Peyton asks if he wants to go to Open Mic Night at Karen’s Cafe. He’s all, ok as long as it’s low key. Peyton assures him that it will be, only like 10 people live here.

Um, what is that?!

Yay, it’s finally time for the big event and it’s just about as lame as it’s supposed to be. Brooke and Lucas walk in together. Brooke acts like she’s never been there before. Sorry, but, shut up, Brooke. She spots Peyton and goes over. Peyton’s all like, I broke a nail, gotta go. Brooke chases her outside and is like I have glue in my purse. Peyton says, that’s fine, I don’t need nails anyway. They have a hug and go inside, Brooke unaware that she is so aware of how Peyton feels about Lucas. During that time Lucas tells Deb at the counter that the next time she has a problem with him she needs to talk to him about it. Instead of rolling her eyes and saying, honey child please, she says ok. Oh look, Jake…and a baby. He brings his daughter Jenny just in time. Haley is excited because no one was singing for awahile and Jake brought a guitar to use while he “sings”. So she introduces him and he places the baby seat next to the stool on the stage. He introduces everyone to his daughter and says Jenny, this is my world. Jake, even my Mamma told you to shut up and she actually likes you. Peyton of course is super excited and is now over Lucas (for now) because someone with a whole heaping of potential drama has just entered the room as a white guy with guitar…and a baby. Crisis averted…for awhile.

Haley thinks Jakes sucks just as much as I do even though she will never say it, so instead she uses the opportunity to go in the kitchen and try to call Nathan. OMG, it’s Nathan, he’s right behind you Haley. He says that jerk never called you back. They hug all happy to see each other. They start talking in metaphors that no teenager would ever use, especially Nathan, so we’ll skip to the part where Deb walks in all why you here. And he says because you sent me off with an abusive bastard for the weekend and I realized I didn’t have to take it. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go over here with my girl and listen to some lame music because I love her that much. Where is Dan, anyway? Oh, he’s sitting outside alone in his car because nobody likes him. Eh, he doesn’t like anybody either, so.

Oh look, it’s Peyton’s new friend Gavin. He walks in and is all, I thought you said it was low key. Just what does he consider low key? Poor Gavin must’ve been playing to like rooms of 10 people before his song was selected as the title music. If he thinks 30 sober teenagers and baby in a coffee shop isn’t low key, then I don’t even know. He plays his awesome song for them anyway. While Gavin was setting up with the band, Lucas invited Nathan and the rest of the team to go play down at the River Court. They’ve all been jonesin’ for some sweet bball action. Nathan’s all confused, but he accepts and Haley is happy.

They all play basketball together at the River Court, the Ravens and the River Court kids. Haley shows up a little late because she had to clean up that rager they just threw at the coffee shop. She joins Peyton and Brooke on the car with Jenny. Brooke calls her Tutor Girl. First used as a derogatory term and now as a term of endearment that will haunt her for pretty much the rest of the series. Haley’s that person that a lot of really embarrassing things happened to in high school and nobody will let them go because they were kinda that funny. Hm. The ball rolls towards them and Jake retrieves it from Peyton. They give each other the eyes. Oh no, a couple of creepers are spying on our heroes at the River Court. Oh, wait, no, it’s Keith and Whitey, honest mistake. In a call back to the first episode where Keith took Whitey to see Lucas play in hopes of getting him on the team, he takes Whitey again in hopes of restarting the season. Whitey says, it makes you wonder where they’ll all end up or some such. And I’m all like, um, no. So, like I said, they just missed one practice, a real lesson I tell ya.

We should end it there, but we don’t. Instead we end on Deb and Dan still at the Cafe. Deb is still cleaning up, guess Haley snuck out the back. Innyway, Dan wants to come home and Deb’s all no, you’re a jerk. And he’s all, but Nathan really embarrassed me after all I did today was to try and embarrass him. She’s all we go to counseling or you never see him again. He’s all, Pshaw. She’s all, call my bluff ’cause I ain’t bluffin’. He walks out. The camera pans back to her as she fusses with a dish towel and then throws it down in a huff and credits roll. I like this shot. It’s different than the way they usually end scenes. This is a pretty raw scene for this show, not some long lingering stare of something big just happened, notice it. It was rough and real. Good job, show.

Episode Notes:
PLOT: All filler, no killer…except for Gavin DeGraw….Ok, basketball is cancelled so our teens are forced to get creative.

BEST PART: The River Court scene at the end. It’s really neat watching them all happy and playing together and other kids watching and having fun too. It’s a lot different than the first time everybody went to the River Court and they were all at odds. It’s well done and the I Don’t Wann Be plays perfectly over it.

LESSON LEARNED: There are more important things than basketball.

BEST LINE: “All right ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Gavin DeGraw!” – Haley James She says his name cool. I still say it that way. Oh and also a good indicator that while stuff happened, nothing cooler happened than Gavin DeGraw showing up.

Until next time…tooda loos!