June 18, 2016
A.K.A. The Boy Toy Episode
Yep, this episode is so jam packed with goodness that it doesn’t even have previouslies or the opening titles.
It’s the Annual Boy Toy Charity Auction. The basketball team is auctioned off to the highest bidder. It’s a CASH ONLY event. Whitey is the auctioneer. The time with your boy toy begins once you pay for him and ends at midnight with a goodnight kiss. This is a crazy event that I can’t imagine would ever actually exist. Maybe it does, IDK. And we never see it happen again. Sad face.
So the episode starts off in the middle of the action. A boy on the team is being auctioned. He goes for $55. They keep cutting to Mouth for some reason. Yeah, I don’t care that he’s the DJ. But it seems significant that he’s there. We cut to Brooke in the hallway trying to pay for Tedi, but she only has a credit card. Sherry tells her that it’s a cash only event. Instead of letting her go get some cash, she gives Tedi to the next highest bidder who is there waiting with her cash at the ready. She tells Brooke there’s a cash machine down the street and 4 more boys left for auction.
Cut to Peyton and Haley talking about who they are going to bid on tonight. Haley is going to bid on Lucas because she wants to spend some time with him. Peyton wants to bid on Jake. Bleh. It’s Tim’s turn. They made him into an absolute buffoon of a character so no girl wants to bid on him. Deb feels bad and tells one of the moms she has some chores and bids $8. SOLD.
TIM’ S “DATE”: So Deb pays her $8 and tells Tim to go home and get a change of clothes, he may get dirty and she’ll leave the door unlocked. She doesn’t say this in a seductive way at all, but Tim’s an idiot. Deb goes home and changes clothes and we see her in her bathroom cleaning out the drain. She’s wearing an undershirt and an unbuttoned overshirt with her hair sloppily picked up out of her face. Tim comes over and she yells that she’s in the bathtub. Tim walks in and is only wearing his underwear. He’s horrified when he sees that she’s actually cleaning the bathroom. Deb is horrified that Tim has no clothes on. They run around crazy looking for his clothes. He has his pants up but unzipped and drops his shirt. Deb kneels down to pick it up. The door must’ve been unlocked still because Dan, for whatever reason, walks in and sees them in this scandalous position. He says the lawyers are gonna love this and leaves. Poor Deb. The road to Hell is indeed paved with good intentions.
It’s Jake’s turn. Peyton has $87.53 to spend. He comes out in the Raven mascot costume and strips it off to the song You Can Leave Your Hat On. The girls go wild! Peyton gets in a bidding war and loses to a disembodied voice that has $100. You would think the voice would send chills up Jake’s spine, but it doesn’t. He goes backstage and Lucas asks who won? And Jake says he doesn’t know, but it doesn’t matter because it’s for charity. Oh, Jake, shut up.
JAKE’S “DATE”: It’s Nikki! Jake’s not happy about this and just wants her to go away. He leaves but she catches up to him and tries to plead her case. Jake’s’ all, You’ve been gone for 8 months without a phone call or anything and now you wanna talk. She just wants a chance. They go eat outside at some burger joint. Nikki is taken by surprise when all Jake wants to talk about is why she left. She’s all, I didn’t know if I’d be a good mom, my friends were going to to college, blah blah blah. She hated herself for leaving so she’s come back and wants to be in Jenny and Jake’s life. Jake is having none of this. They go to the car and Nikki says she’s left college and is thinking of transferring to Tree Hill. Wait, so, she’s been at college this whole time? That’s not wholly irresponsible or anything. It’s not like she abandoned them to go flit around aimlessly. Jake is upset, but in the car she manages to seduce him enough that they start making out. She’s got him going pretty good until she mentions that they can be a family. That breaks the spell. So he tells her to get out of the car, go to the corner store, and pick out stuff she thinks Jenny will need. Of course she’s bought everything all wrong because she doesn’t know her daughter at all. One of the things she gets is a pint of his favorite ice cream because one time she told him that all he needed to make everything better was a pint of that ice cream or something like that. Dear Nikki, that’s because HE’S A CHILD! A lawless town, for sure. She tells Jake she still loves him. He says he doesn’t want to hear it. He leaves her stranded. She shows up at his house to plead some more. She thinks keeping Jenny away from her because she hurt him is wrong. I agree. For now. Jake tells her how he doesn’t love her anymore and Jenny will never be subject to the pain Nikki can cause. She tells him that she’ll be in Jenny’s life with or without him. I wanna blame Jake for everything that happens in upcoming episodes.
It’s Lucas’s turn. He goes out there looking like Lucas and about as comfortable as you would imagine Lucas would be in this situation, which is not comfortable at all. Naturally, a bidding war breaks out. Haley is taken by surprise and hikes the price up to $115. She wins thanks to her cafe savings.
LUCAS’S “DATE”: He and Haley go up to their mini golf course on top of the Cafe. Haley has filled up water balloons, some with water and some with milk. Man, she was uberconfident she’d be the highest bidder. Good thing she was! She says she can’t do stuff like this with Nathan because it’s childish. Lucas agrees, but it’s the good kind of childish. They start to talk about what’s been going on with them. Haley says she’s heard some stuff about him. Lucas starts going on about how he just wants to play ball again and how not that long ago he was happy at the River Court and hanging out with Haley. She says life was simpler and then randomly decides she’s going to go call Nathan. She starts to walk away and Lucas picks up a milk balloon and hits her in the back. Balloon fight! They are down to one each. Haley must have horrible aim because Lucas is super dry. She’s not. It that really is milk, she’s gonna stink! She runs up to him with her last balloon, but he turns her around and she drops it. Her shirt goes up a bit and he sees a tattoo. Tramp stamp! She tries to deny it’s one. He asks to see it again, and sees that it’s the number 23. He gets upset at Nathan, but she says he doesn’t even know about it. He asks why she would do that and she says because she’s in love with Nathan.
They go down to the cafe and start making hot chocolate. He apologizes for getting upset. She says he got a tattoo with a girl he’s not even dating anymore and he says he looks pretty stupid. She says he holds her to a higher standard and it’s not fair. He’s all, Yeah, but it’s because you are better. He wants to see it again. She got it done a few days ago. She goes on about how Nathan’s all she thinks about, she even spaces out during tests. And even if they aren’t together forever, if the tattoo reminds her how she feels now 20 years from now, she might be ok with that. Lucas asks why she bid on him and not Nathan. She says because she wanted to go back to simpler times when it was just the two of them. She wanted to remember being self confident and sensible and now she feels like a mess. He tells her she’s not a mess, just in love. She tells him she’s not sure if Nathan is.
They go to Nathan’s apartment at midnight. At the top of the stairs she realizes she forgot something in the car so she tells Lucas to go in without her and break up with Nathan for her if he says he’s not in love with her. Then she says seriously to say something nice. Lucas agrees to comply. However, he looks in the window and sees Nathan kiss Peyton. He tells Haley that Nathan isn’t home and he takes her back to her house. At her house he tells her that he’ll always be there for her and if Nathan can’t see how special she is then he’s an idiot. They have a quick midnight goodbye kiss and a hug. He says she’ll be ok, he promises. Haley’s all, Ok, thanks. Lucas is plotting how to kill Nathan and make it look like an accident.
It’s Nathan’s turn. He comes out and rips his pants off and then rips open his shirt to reveal “Boy Toy” written on his chest. The girls go wild. And there’s a bidding war. Haley gets nervous and bids as well. Then she tells Peyton to bid and gives her extra money. With $112.53, Peyton wins!
NATHAN’S DATE: Peyton and Haley are waiting for their dates in the parking lot. Haley says she’s super excited to spend a night with Lucas, it’s been awhile. Peyton’s all, Well, me and Nathan haven’ t hung out in awhile either. Nathan walks up and jokes with Peyton. He tells Haley to come see him around midnight and gives her a kiss. She tells him not to have fun and he says he won’t. Then he tells Peyton to let’s go and get this over with. Peyton says that’s funny because that’s what he used to tell her right before they had sex. Haley laughs uncomfortably. She watches as they walk away and Peyton catches up to Nathan and jumps on him. Haley realizes she may’ve had some errors in her logic.
Nathan and Peyton go to his apartment. Looks like they got Chinese. She notices his lack of furniture. He says he has a bed and sits on it while he takes out the food. Peyton looks uncomfortable because she can only think of one thing she ever did on a bed with Nathan.
They go down to the pool and they talk about how things used to be with them. Then he pushes her in the pool and they play in there for a bit. Then they stand at the edge and talk about their relationship some more. He says they were good together. She says they really weren’t. Then they go on about how he’s the only guy she’s had sex with and how he hasn’t had sex since they brok up. He tells her it’s just sex and kind of inches closer. She takes that as him propositioning her and says that Haley’s great and she wouldn’t do that to her and neither should he. Nathan gets all confused and is all, Um, duh, I was just saying that so you would know I wasn’t pressuring her. She says she knew that and is all embarrassed because in her rant she had mentioned that he’s good in bed.
They are back in his apartment drying off. Nathan is sitting on the bed and tells Peyton that he thinks he was hitting on her in the pool. Peyton’s all, Ya think? He tells her that he’ll probably always have feelings for her but that he owes it to Haley to be a better guy and doesn’t want to cheat. Peyton says then don’t. She goes on about how proud of him she is and how he’s turning into the guy she always knew he could be. She says it’s late and she better go. They have their quick goodbye midnight kiss.
Oops, Brooke is too late and there are no more boys to auction. Mouth is starting to wind up the equipment when some lady says she’ll give $5 for the microphone boy. A bidding war starts and Brooke offers up her $200. She wins. Then in the hallway she tries to get rid of him by offering $50 and the Mouth Boy. No takers.
BROOKE’S “DATE”: She takes him to look at the limo she’s rented. He’s all excited, but she says she’s going home. He acts all pitiful and understanding. She feels bad and says she’ll take him to one place. He’s all, Yay! Brooke’s not happy. She takes him to a strip club. She says she likes corrupting America’s youth. He brings up Lucas and she’s all, No, no Lucas talk. She gets them lapdances. They talk in the limo about what girls want. He thinks he’s too nice and girls want jerks. Not a jerk yet? Give it time Mouth. Give it time. SPOILER ALERT: He’s a jerk. Then he brings up Lucas again and she reminds him, NO LUCAS. She acts all like she’s some bad girl that likes the idea of having three different people to meet her needs. They go to a nightclub. Mouth dances inappropriately with his jacket. She walks up to a cute guy at the bar. She asks his name and he tells her that they’ve met, her name is Brooke, that she was pretty wasted last time. He’s ready for another go though. She gets sad and goes to get Mouth and they leave. Mouth asks if she wants to talk about what happened. She asks if he thinks Lucas is a good guy. Mouth thinks he’s a good guy. Then she tells him what girls really want is someone to want them back, at least she does.
At the end of the night she drops him off and they talk. He tells her again that Lucas is a great guy and that he thinks they can work it out. He tells her how Lucas introduced him to the guys at the River Court and made him feel like he belonged. He’s about to go home when she gives him a goodnight at midnight kiss. But she says it was actually a just because kiss. He thanks her for the greatest night of his life. He leaves. Brooke gets in the limo all sad. She’s been sad all night.
Karen’s not at the Boy Toy Auction, but she gets a date anyway.
KAREN’S DATE: Karen and Peyton’s dad have dinner at his house. He insists on doing everything for her. No cooking for Karen tonight. He tells her she can tour the house. She gets into Peyton’s things and looks at her sketches. She sees the one where they are shooting the heart. The dad thinks that’s intense. Karen thinks it looks familiar. She tells him how the kids are just going through what they did in high school. She tells him about a time capsule that was buried at the 50 yard line. They go dig it up. Karen does an awesome cheer while he digs a huge hole. The football coach is going to PISSED! They open up the time capsule and find fun stuff from…the 80s? Some pictures of Dan and Karen are in there. She says she didn’t even notice Keith was in those pics until now. Peyton’s dad says whoever the boy is in the background he obviously loves the girl in the foreground. And just how does one come to that conclusion?! Dumb. And right on cue, Whitey and Keith show up. Whitey is surprised to find that it is Karen. She tells Keith hi. He walks away. Whitey does too. You see, Keith and Whitey just finished having a conversation about how much Keith loves Karen. And then Keith sees her with another man. Loser. Karen and Peyton’s dad go to her house, their evening coming to a close. He says he doesn’t know her status with Keith, but he likes her and essentially throws his hat in the ring. Karen says she’s not sure about Keith. He gives her a quick goodbye midnight kiss and leaves.
Keith knocks on the door and ask if it’s too late. It’s after midnight, Keith, yes it’s too late! She says, No. He starts going on about how much he misses her and Lucas. And he understands that he put Lucas at risk but he loves him. Then he shows her the engagement ring and says he’s been carrying it since the night of the accident and he loves her and asks her to marry him. She’s shocked and we have to wait for an answer. My money is on NO, because she’s just not that into him.
We head on over to the river court where Lucas is sitting on a table. Boys hate benches and chairs and standing. Brooke finds him there and walks up all sad. She says she’s been avoiding the subject all night but just needs to go and say it. He asks what up. She says she thinks she’s pregnant. Lucas has shocked face.
Best episode so far, or not?
PLOT: The annual Boy Toy Auction leads to a night of fun and revelations.
BEST PART: Haley and Lucas’s “date”. I’m sorry, their friendship is my favorite part right now. Honorable mention goes to Karen cheering at the football field. Moira really rocked it!
LESSON LEARNED: It’s ok to talk to someone about how you’re doing so that you can work it out and move forward.
BEST LINE: “It’s important to have somebody who can make you laugh, somebody you can trust, somebody that, you know, turns you on. And it’s really really important that these three people don’t know each other.” – Brooke Davis to Mouth O, that’s a good one!
Until next time…tooda loos!