June 20, 2016

We open on Nathan’s apartment. Tim and a bunch of other people are asleep in a mess. We are then taken to Nathan’s room where Nathan and a girl that’s clearly not Haley are asleep. Psych! It’s not Nathan because Nathan’s actually asleep in Haley’s bed. He awakens and  Haley is already up and at ’ems. She’s already dressed for the day, has just finished brushing her hair and touching up her lipgloss and is telling Nathan about her weird dream. Her weird dream being that her boyfriend was outside her second floor window that has no tree by it or trellis leading up to it or balcony or any way he could’ve been there unless he had a very tall ladder (unless of course Haley isn’t on the second floor in which case, uh, sthorry.) asking to come in and crash in her room. She says it’s the 4th time in two weeks, not that she’s complaining. He says Tim’s been throwing these ragers and that he’s not even the one throwing the parties. Dear Nathan, Lock your door. Haley says they should have a take back the party party and Nathan agrees as long as it’s low key. Nathan, go talk to Gavin DeGraw about low key. Just having 10 people at your tiny apartment will be an animal print pants out of control party. They’re throwing a party on Saturday. At school Haley invites Peyton who is all impressed that Haley is throwing a party and would be delighted to attend. Haley repeats again that it’s just supposed to be low key, which fates it to be decidedly NOT low key and totes eventful.

Keith’s still in town. Mistake! Keith, you shoulda left while the gittin’ was good. The shaman must’ve been booked. Keith goes into Karen’s Cafe and tells her to call him Mr. Scott. Karen’s all, I ain’t nasty. Keith tells her that he’s going to interview for an high school autoshop class position in Charleston. Karen’s all butthurt saying she didn’t think he’d be leaving so soon. Uh, Karen, what part of “no time like the present” didn’t you understand? I need to make a change, but I’m going to wait a year. No, Karen, no. Lucas passes by and says the PT said he was good to go for practice. He leaves and Keith asks Karen if she’s mentioned the proposal or the leaving. She hasn’t but she’s thinking about it. He says he’ll tell Lucas he’s leaving. Karen says Lucas’ll miss him and walks away. Keith stares a meaningful stare.

At practice Lucas can’t make a single shot. Nathan tells him to keep shooting, that it’ll come. Awww. Lucas stays after a bit. The cheerleaders leave and Peyton walks over to him. She starts stretchting his arm for him. It’s not sexy or chemistry filled or tension filled at all. It’s weird. Brooke has forgetten her bag and goes back in to get it. She sees them and says something tacky. Peyton runs outside after her. They officially break up. Sad face.

Nathan and Tim are playing video games at his apartment. Haley walks in with stuff for the party. Nathan, Lock. Your. Door. They flirt a bit and then she goes back to the car to get more stuff. She exits and a few seconds later, Dan enters. Nathan, LOCK YOUR DOOR! He’s livid because a dude came in to put a sound system in Nathan’s car. Dan says he had no right to do that and wants the rest of the money from the sale. He says he’ll take cash or a check or Nathan can keep it and go home with him. Nathan writes him a check and says he should stop by more often. Dan looks at him all mean and TAKES THE CHECK. What a jerk!

The next day at school Haley is inviting two random chicks to the party and says keep it hush hush. The girls are all, No probs. Brooke walks up behind her and is excited about the party. Haley tells her she’s not invited. She says it’s really going to be low key, just a few friends. Ouch. I’m disappointed in Haley. I know she’s growing close to Peyton and Brooke has never payed her too much mind as an individual, but has she never seen Sleeping Beauty? Everytime I watch it, Maleficent is never invited to a party that the whole kingdom is invited to and every time she shows up anyway and curses Aurora. Well, Haley, are you scared?

Later she and Nathan go to the mall. They happen upon a Now Hiring sign at the pretzel stand. He picks up the application and the kid behind the counter sees him and hires him on the spot. Nathan, I’d watch out for this guy. I’m pretty sure he killed a man on Judging Amy. Well, he did something bad that upset Maxine a great deal. The moral is that he presents one way, but really he’s pretty much bad news. In the past anyway.

Lucas shows up to Gloom Town to return a CD to Peyton. She takes it and goes to a list on her closet doors where she’s painted all of the titles to her missing CDs. She crosses the rando CD Lucas just handed her off of the list. What a nerd. She tells him she and Brooke broke up and she’s bummed about it. She mentions she was going to call him anyway about Haley’s party. They’re excited for Haley. She asks if he wants to go with her as just friends. Then they go to her album nook and she says she’s on an 80s rock kick and is currently listening to a metal band called Ratt. Yeah, IDK. Part of this episode must be brought to us by that album because it played a lot like a commercial.

Meanwhile at the pretzel shop, Nathan is doing poorly. His pretzels are all mangled. The kid that hired him gets upset with him for various reasons. It’s revealed he goes to Tree Hill and Nathan is shocked. Nathan, for serious, and just how many high schools are in your town that consists of 4 streets, a bar, and no law enforcement?  The kid tells him that he’s in his history class and last year, just for fun, Nathan and a group of his basketball buddies beat him up at Homecoming for no reason. Nathan now realizes where he’s seen this kid before. He apologizes.

Later that night Lucas goes to the Cafe and sees Karen wrapping a tie. She says it’s for Keith for his job interview. She tells Lucas she rejected Keith’s proposal and now he’s leaving town. Um, Keith said he was going to tell him! Doesn’t matter. Lucas goes to see Keith. They hug and Luke says he’s sorry and wonders why he didn’t tell him he was leaving. Keith said it’s hard to leave Lucas and didn’t want to be the second Scott brother to do that. Lucas assures him that he won’t see him that way. Keith tells him this is something that he has to do right now, but that he wants Lucas to know that he’ll always be someone that Lucas can turn to, he can still call him or visit. Lucas says he wanted Keith to be his dad. Keith gives a meaningful stare.

The next day at the Cafe Karen is holding Jenny. She’s having a conversation with Deb and Deb says she regrets turning down Karen’s partnership offer (which I totes forgot about, oops. SPOILER ALERT: In the long run, it doesn’t really matter.) and is wondering if the offer still stands. Karen says of course it does and they shake on it. Great, now Haley will have two useless bosses. Deb says she’s on her way out to go tell Dan he has 24 hours to get his stuff out of the house, otherwise she’s sending it to Goodwill. Keith walks in all suited up and offers to help her burn Dan’s things. Keith, you have no idea. Deb says he looks nice, gives him a hug, and leaves. Karen hands him the box that contains a tie for good luck, she’s already tied it for him. Karen must not know about his extensive tie collection. Oh, no wait, never mind, he unclips his tie to put on the new one. Loser. Nice guy, don’t get me wrong, but a total loser. A clip on tie to a legit interview? No wonder Karen said no, she knows you too well! She tells him she told Lucas everything. He says yeah, Lucas’s visit meant a lot and should he get the job he’ll only be 3 hours away so Lucas can totes visit anytime. He’s having trouble with the tie because he’s never used one before. She hands him the baby so that she can adjust the tie for him. OMG, Karen, what the hey? Babies do gross things and I’m sure he only has the one suit, we know he only has the one real tie. Luckily, Jenny does not make a mess of him. She tells him he’ll do great and he heads out.

At the mall, Nathan is talking to Haley, who is still out shopping for the party, about how he’s getting better. The kid comes up behind Nathan reminding him of no cell phones at work! He says unlike Nathan he actually needs this job. Nathan is all, Does not compute. The kid says not everyone has a rich daddy waiting in the wings to scoop him up when times get rough and if he wants to go to college he’ll have to pay for it. Hey kid, Dan’s not gonna help Nathan with anything! Nathan says he’s taking the job seriously. The kid says great, some guy called in sick and he’ll need help with clean up and inventory. Nathan tells him it’s Saturday, he has plans tonight! The kid tells him he’s fired if he doesn’t stay.

Keith interviews for the teaching position. It goes well. He gives some good cheesey teachery answers and the guy interviewing him also has a brother that’s an ass.

At Nathan’s, Haley has decorated and gotten ready for the party. Mouth is the DJ. Tim shows up with the keg. She tries to get rid of him because Nathan’s not there yet, but he says someone needs to be there to kick it off. Over at Gloom Town, things are looking up as Lucas has gotten Peyton a friend surprise…it’s the first Tesla record. Peyton says she got him a high five, does he want it now or later. He takes it now, it’s an ok high five. A fifth grader where I work once told me that to give the perfect high five you have to look at the person’s elbow as you slap hands. Um, it’s true, it works 100% of the time. Back at Nathan’s, Haley is sitting on the couch with Tim thinking no ones going to to show. Tim says no one wants to be first to a party. Doorbell rings (what, the door was locked? Or just thoughtful teens?) and in walks a bunch of ready to party teenagers. Haley asks Tim if he knows anybody that just walked in and Tim says no, but you want people to show up, so. Haley’s all, ok. OMG.

Cut to Brooke at the Bar of Underage Drinking in a Lawless Town. A dude sits next to her and she’s really mean. He walks away to go and cry. He reveals Nikki! She gives Brooke points for style. Brooke says she’s seen her around. She says, “You’re Jake’s ex.” Nikki says, “No, he’s mine.” She did it again. She made a correction that’s not really a correction. She makes no sense. Nikki could possibly be the most annoying person on the planet. She and Nikki start to hit it off and she tells her about her troubles. Nikki says to give her a strand of hair and she can show her a great curse to put on her exes. Brooke does. Well, Haley, hope you’re happy. She tells Nikki the names are Lucas and Peyton. Nikki knows them and starts plotting her troubles. She asks where they are and Brooke says they’re at a party she wasn’t invited to. Nikki orders them some vodka.

Meanwhile over at Hot and Twisted, Nathan is really getting better at making pretzels. He is putting some on the tray when he drops a bunch. The kid says something tacky and Nathan goes to pick them up. Then he hears the voice of the DEVIL! Dan goes on about how he has pictures of all of Nathan’s firsts. He says he doesn’t have a camera to get a pic of Nathan at his first job. Remember, this is before cameras were phones. He tells his dad he’s trying to work. Dan tells him to come home that Nathan working is embarrassing. Nathan’s all, No, you’re embarrassing! Nathan tells him he may be starting on the ground floor but at least he’s doing it on his own unlike some people. Dan is all, Excuse me? Nathan says he could just live off of Deb’s money like Dan did. Dan smiles and says ok, that Nathan has a lot to learn, good luck trying to impress him. Nathan gives him a pretzel that’s been on the floor for way more than 10 seconds. Dan eats it. Haha.

At Haley’s party the two rando chicks from earlier are saying she has the best life ever because she has Nathan Scott and her own apartment. They walk away as Haley tries to explain it’s not her apartment. Oh, in walks people she knows, Lucas and Peyton. She hugs Lucas and he asks who all of the people are. They’ve left her alone with Tim too long and she says who cares, it’s a party. Well, she cared enough earlier not to invite Brooke. Oh, but no worries, here’s Brooke now with her new friend. Peyton and Lucas stare because they’ve met Nikki. Haley smiles uncomfortably because, hey, it’s a party!

Nikki and Brooke have their own bottle of vodka. Haley is sitting on the couch with Lucas and Peyton. She thinks maybe if they had just invited Brooke. Lucas assures her that it’s not her fault. Um, yeah it is. Or maybe it’s her parents’ fault, maybe they never showed her Sleeping Beauty. Yeah, let’s blame her parents, we’ll absolve Haley of all of her sins. I have that power. She asks who Nikki is. They tell her. Something sounds like it broke so Haley and Peyton go to investigate. Nikki goes up to Lucas and says she likes a guy that can keep a secret. Lucas tries to shake her but she follows him. He tells her Jake’s working. Lucas tells her he’s done her a favor so please do him a favor and get Brooke and go. His friend Haley doesn’t need this right now. Nikki does not comply. Peyton walks up and they’re tacky to each other. Lucas goes with Peyton and Nikki pours more vodka.

Nathan is still at work helping the kid clean up. The kid still thinks Nathan doesn’t remember about Homecoming. Nathan tells him he does remember and and he’s already apologized. He says he needs this job because he needs to prove to the judge that he can live by himself or else he’ll have to go live with the DEVIL! He tells the kid that he’s going to work hard because he needs this job, not because the kid has it out for him. He says he can let it go and forgive him or he can fire him right now. The kids says he’ll let it go, but just do better. He tells him he can go to his party. Nathan sort of invites him and the kid says git before he changes his mind. Oh, his name is Gary.

Peyton tries to reason with a drunk Brooke, but we all know from experience that a drunk Brooke cannot be reasoned with. Nathan is at the bus stop trying to call Haley but she doesn’t answer. Instead he gets a voice message that says, “You’ve reached Haley James, congratulations!” Haley really does seem like a fun person to be friends with so, yeah. At Casa de Scott, Dan and Karen are drinking wine as she packs his things. She’s drunk. They argue. Dan doesn’t want to get a divorce. Deb starts throwing keys at him and then starts giving him the clothes off her back and then they have sexytimes. Geezer love.

Haley is stressed and she downs a drink. Nikki and Peyton get tacky with each other. Nikki starts to get all up in Peyton’s grill. Brooke says hey, she’s not worth it. Nikki tells Brooke to shove off and then proceeds to start a fight. Nikki and Peyton slap, grab hair, break tables, wrestle, it’s like a legit fight. Lucas and Brooke and Tim try to pry them apart. Nikki throws a bar stool through the window. They get back on eacher other and then Tim and Lucas are finally able to pry them apart for good. Lucas tells Nikki she needs to go. Nikki reveals that she’s the bar girl he slept with, then she walks in the opposite direction of the door and they let her, which I don’t get. Now Haley is all, Oh crap, Brooke hates him still, and now Peyton isn’t his biggest fan. They both walk in the opposite direction of the door as well. Maybe there is an alternative exit? Idk. Again, I hope you’re happy, Haley! Maleficent. Always. Shows. Up.

Nathan walks in and calls out to Haley. She starts to hug him and apologize when in walks…the Po-Po? What? Did Tim order strippers? Nope, they are legit cops. Must be new in town and don’t know about Scott privilege yet. The cop tells everyone to leave before he starts checking IDs. Nathan says the apartment is his. The cop writes him a citation for all the different law breaking that went on in there. Lucas says Nathan  didn’t have anything to do with it, he just got home. The cop says the apartment is his responsibility. [Um, copper, is that what you tell people who have been burgled? Oh, sorry, someone broke in while you were away, but well, your place, your responsibility.] Nathan says he’s impressed and asks the cop if he learned that in detective school. The cop decides to arrest Nathan for having a smart mouth. Lucas is all, Hey! The cop asks if he wants to join him and he backs off. Nathan is taken away in handcuffs. Officer, I don’t think you can arrest people for being jerks. Can you? And all of a sudden the cops care about law breaking?

Dan and Deb are in bed in the afterglow of their sexytimes. They reminisce about that time in college when they didn’t leave the dorm. Then the phone rings. The police have called to let him know they have Nathan. He doesn’t tell Deb where he’s going, just that the real world called. He gets Nathan and then berates him. He wants Nathan to go home with him. Nathan refuses. He tells him he brought him into this world and he can take him out, apropos of nothing! That was like totally not at all an appropriate thing to say. Lucas says leave him alone. Dan is tacky. Lucas tells Haley to go get an officer. Haley doesn’t, everyone’s just being overdramatic and she’s tired, she’s been up since before the sun. Lucas insults Dan as a father again. Dan tells him to shut up and go ask Karen about what really happened between them. Lucas gets serious face. Dan is upset he’s always being made out as the bad guy even though he’s not the one who cheated or asked for a divorce and he got the charges dropped. Well Dan, maybe if you weren’t alway such a jerk about everything and didn’t always have so many conditions! He leaves them on the steps of the police station. Lucas offers him a ride home. They walk together, a band of street orphans. But not really, the mood of the scene just has that dire street orphan feel of these kids not having anyone but each other in the world. Or that one scene in Cocktails. Take your pick.

The mermaid haunts me. I just don’t get it.

At Casa de Squints Karen is still up because she doesn’t go to bed until Lucas gets home. She asks him if he wants to talk about what happened with her and Keith. He says it’s not his place but that he thinks she deserves to be happy and so does Keith, he was just hoping they’d be happy together. Aww. She tells him she loves Keith, she’s just not in love with him. Lucas asks if she was ever. She says she never let it go there because Keith is a loser…no she didn’t say that, just that he was such a good friend and romance can confuse a friendship. Lucas says he can’t tell her how to feel but that it sucks for Keith. He goes to bed. That was actually a very reasonable conversation. Hm.

Back at Nathan’s he tells Haley not to worry about it. The place is a mess! She didn’t think so many people would come. He tells her that it comes with the territory of being popular this was just her coming out party. Haley has shocked face. Over in Gloom Town, Peyton is in bed probably having deep thoughts. Brooke walks in and they come to a truce. Brooke’s not ready to be her friend again, but she no longer wants to be her enemy. She admits that she was wrong to hang out with Nikki and that that chick is crazy. She says Lucas is just a guy that makes mistakes like they all do. Peyton says it just sucks when you expect more. Brooke’s all, Yeah, I know. Peyton asks if they’ll get back to the way they were. Brooke says it doesn’t feel like it. [I hope they don’t. They were pretty crappy to each other on the whole.] Then they say they’re tired. But not tired like tired, tired like their soul is weary.

The next day at the Cafe, Keith comes in and tells Karen he got the job. It starts in a couple weeks. He’s happy. They share a meaningful stare when they realize he’ll be leaving soon. Dan goes to see Deb at Casa de Scott and says he’ll grant her the divorce, no probs. He says the real world will always be out there. Keith is back at his apartment packing up, Lucas goes over to sit and watch. Nathan is working. The next day at school Lucas explains about Nikki to Peyton. He says he didn’t know who Nikki was when he met her. She gets all righteous and says that when they were going through all that self inflicted drama her head and her heart were not in a place where she could sleep with some rando. Well, Peyton, different people deal with stuff differently, but whatever, judge away. She goes on to say that Nathan was a crappy boyfriend and person and she won’t be going through that  again. She’s all, You two switched places. Lucas has manpain face and watches her walk away. Roll credits.

Episode Notes:
PLOT: Haley throws a party, but doesn’t invite Brooke.

BEST PART: When Nikki and Peyton have their brawl at the party. The obvious use of stunt people here is pretty fun. I love this show!

LESSON LEARNED: Don’t tell someone they aren’t invited to a party you’re throwing, especially if you now them.

BEST LINE: “Ooo, we should throw our own party, like a take back the party party.” – Haley James to Nathan Scott   I like the idea of a take back the party party.

Until next time…tooda loos!