June 23, 2016

Previously on One Tree Hill…Season 1 happened! Opening title sequence took out some old scenes and added some new scenes and Deb!

We open at a funeral home. Everyone is staring and dressed in black, Keith appears to have gone blind. Nathan is kneeling at a casket. It’s Dan inside the casket! He gets up and Deb goes. The corpse of Dan wakes up, grabs her hand and says, “You killed me, you bitch!” Deb wakes up, it was all a nightmare. She is sitting in a hospital room with Dan who is unconscious, but alive.

Nathan is watching Haley sleep. They talk about getting married yesterday. Wait, I thought they got married the night before! Must’ve been yesterday really early in the morning! Nathan’s cellphone rings, it’s his mom. He doesn’t answer, but he listens to his messages. He thinks she might want her car back. Oh, that’s whose car it was! They stay in bed a little longer.

Lucas and Keith are hanging out on a beach in Charleston, both of them wearing jeans and a tshirt. Ok. Keith walks up to Lucas and finds that he has shaved his head. Lucas hardly has any hair left. Keith’s not a big fan and they laugh about it. Lucas says new town, new look. Keith calls him Felicity. Haha, Felicity. Well, I think he looks good! Innyway, they talk about how they’re going to love it there and then Keith’s phone rings.

Karen is bussing tables at the Cafe and sees a little boy in a hoodie bouncing a basketball down the sidewalk. He looks just like Lucas at the start of the series only short. Karen decides she’s done more than enough work for the day and turns the sign to Closed. She gives meaningful stare.

In Gloom Town, Peyton is hanging up her sketch of Jake and Jenny from before they got on the boat. She’s painted a special place on the wall for it. Eye roll. Brooke bounces in and Peyton asks if anyone knocks in this lawless town. Um, maybe if somebody locked the door when they’re alone! Brooke says some do, but she doesn’t. She wants to take Peyton to do something fun. Peyton looks in her purse to reveal a letter which then triggers a flashback of when she left her house and found the letter in the door. Man, if I hadn’t seen that flashback I would’ve never known she found the letter and that’s how it got in her purse! I think the big reveal is meant to be that she hasn’t told Brooke yet because Peyton has a secret addiction to secrets. Brooke calls out from the other room that it’s time to go, Peyton can flashback inane flashbacks later.

Nathan is sitting at the edge of the bed looking sad face. Haley walks in and asks him what’s wrong. He says Dan had a heart attack and is in the hospital. Haley is sad face and asks if he’s going to be ok. They get ready to go see him. She thinks they should wait to tell them about their current situation after Dan recovers. She says Dan made it clear before the game that he wasn’t happy about them dating so what’s he gonna think now?! Nathan says it’s not about him and he’s never gonna hide that they’re married.

Brooke and Peyton are going to take Brooke’s dad’s boat out for some fun times. Peyton is hesitant because normally he’s with them when they take it out for a spin. Brooke tells her  to live a little.

Meanwhile at the hospital, a doctor comes to talk to Deb. OMG, it’s Dr. Silver! Deb, you should worry, pretty sure that guy is a dentist. Innyway, he tells her that Dan’s current state of unconsciousness is due to sedation from the angioplasty and the overall event of his bumticker, but not to worry, Dan will wake up at the least convenient time for you. She asks the doc if calling sooner would’ve helped. He says in any event the sooner the better, but she called as soon as she could, right? RIGHT? Actually, Deb has a flashback to when Dan had just told her she better hope he dies. She can’t believe he’s threatening her and she drops the cellphone to the ground and says he can call…911? I don’t know who he would call, what if that numbers busy again? She stands up and starts telling him how she’s going to contemplate helping him at this time. Cold. She was going to apologize for the Keith thing, but now that he’s reminded her of how awful he is, she’s just not so sure she wants to apologize anymore. Dan loses consciousness. She feels bad. Back at the hospital she tells Dan she’s sorry, but he can’t hear her. Lucas walks up to Keith on the beach and asks him who died. Keith says Dan had a heart attack.

Back at Naley’s, Nathan is looking for his grey tshirt and asks Haley where it is. Haley finds it, but instead of giving it to him right away…you guessed it, flashback! We are now back to the rainy start of game day. She’s ready to do it but they don’t because Nathan starts talking. He starts talking about how he could love her forever and she’s his family now and his one true thing. It’s all very sweet. Then he asks her to marry him. She laughs and says he’s embarrassing her. He’s confused she’s not jumping at the chance, he’s being totes serious. She says they’re still in high school and it’s not normal to get married in high school. He tells her he’s emancipated and he never wants be normal with her. He repeats he could love her forever and she says the same to him and he says why can’t forever start today. Awww. SPOILER ALERT: This is only sweet and wonderful because it’s a TV show and it’s a TV show in which this couple, while they do have their rough patches, do indeed stay together and love each other forever. But don’t forget, IT’S A TV SHOW! Haley hugs the tshirt.

Keith and Lucas are in their apartment or whatever on their balcony or whatever it would be called. Keith says they wouldn’t have a view like this in Tree Hill. I guess if you consider a bunch of yachts and boats a good view, then no. Lucas wonders if Karen knows about Dan and if she cares. Keith asks if Luke does, that he understands Dan is his birth father and it’s ok to feel concerned. Lucas asks if it’s ok to hope Dan dies. Yes, Lucas, but only because it’s a TV show. They stare out at their view in silence.

The doc is telling Deb that Dan has HCM. She asks why this problem is just now showing up. He tells her that it can be an issue due to strenuous physical activity and/or lots of stress. So, yeah, again doc, WHY NOW?! Dentists. I guess when you are unconscious you can still flashback because that’s the only way we get one from Dan’s perspective. It’s Dan in his car before he walks in to find his brother and his wife in a scandalous position. He’s rehearsing what he wants to say to Deb. His speech is all about admitting his faults and he wants to do what it takes to change so that he can keep her in his life and he still loves her. Then he walks in, sees them, and walks out speechless.

Karen is now at the hospital to see Whitey. He insults his nurse. Jerk! She asks why he’s still there. He tells her that it’s because of medical mumbojumbo. She tells him she’s shut the Cafe down for the day. She probably left the dishes for Haley and Deb. Whitey starts wise sageing her. He’s all you must be feeling an empty nest, maybe this is what Luke wanted, for her to feel loneliness caving in on her so that she’d have to go out and do something about it. No, Whitey, Lucas left for purely selfish reasons, trust me. Karen’s thinking about taking classes at the university. Whitey gets all serious and loud and tells her to do it, that if he was her age he’d go and do everything and then do everything again. He gets all don’t find yourself old like me and full of regrets. Whitey must think he’s dying. This reaction can’t be about the prospect of glass eyes.

Brooke and Peyton are on the boat. They start talking about Lucas. Brooke says she doesn’t really miss Lucas. Peyton says his loss, Jake too. Brooke says she was secretly pulling for Peyton and Jake because she wasn’t into him. A boat full of dudes passes by and Brooke flashes them. The guys cheer. She says boys are so easy. She says that the two of them could swim if they had suits. Peyton asks when that’s stopped them before. They skinny dip and splash around in the water by the boat. They are having so much fun and yet, they are so boring. It’s weird.

Back in Charleston Lucas thinks that they should go back to Tree Hill. Um, Lucas, Keith didn’t invite you, remember? You invited yourself, so you can go back whenever you want. Keith is a grown man that can go visit his brother when he’s good and ready if ever that’s what he wants to do. You can go back and live with your mother. It doesn’t feel right for you to stay because you’re a child that wasn’t really ready to leave home. Instead of telling Lucas he’ll get him a bus ticket, Keith makes a Stay and Go list on a box.

Back at the boat of Zzzzz…Brooke is telling Peyton that she doesn’t like how Lucas left not even saying goodbye. Peyton reveals that Lucas left a letter and hands it to her. Brooke, of course, gets upset because she will never be a ho’s over bros kind of girl. She thinks Peyton was going to read it without her. She’s mad at Peyton and decides to head back to shore.

Nathan and Haley are at the hospital. He tells her that he an go into the room alone if she wants. She says no, she wants to go in with him. He’s glad because he wants her to go in with him. She says that they stuck together with her parents. FLASHBACK! They enter Haley’s house through the front door. She tells him that no matter what happens next, if her parents say yes, she will marry him. Well, then doesn’t it kind of matter a lot what happens next? What? Innyway, she calls out for her mom and a lady says she’s in the kitchen. They enter the kitchen and there’s like a pause. Now, the lady in the kitchen is black. I only mention it because it’s pretty obvious that they want us to think this is Haley’s mom for whatever reason and we’re supposed to be shocked or something. Idk, but whatevs. Haley says hi and the lady asks for a hug, Haley obliges and then asks where her mom is. In comes Haley’s mom with a newspaper. She wants to show the lady, Miriam, a news story. Now I’m sure that they want us to think that these two are both Haley’s moms. OMG, her mom is Bess Armstrong! Her mom asks if Nathan crawled in the window or if he was able to locate the front door. He says door. She’s proud of him. Haley asks where her dad is, she wants to talk to them together. Lydia thinks Haley is pregnant. Miriam says that Haley’s a virgin and it’s a shame. Haley is totes embarrassed and wants to talk to her parents alone. Miriam says she can take a hint and she doesn’t have to be there anyway since Lydia will fill her in with all of the details later! She leaves. Lydia calls out the window for Jimmy saying that Haley is pregnant. She asks if they should sit and Haley says they better. Meanwhile back in the present, Dan is in a hospital bed still unconscious.Nathan asks the nurse if Dan’s going to die. She tells him he should talk to his mom in the chapel.

Lucas and Keith are going through their list of reasons to stay. It includes Dan and Lucas being an ass, the killer view, Keith’s job, etc. The one that irks me the most of course is Karen is on the list. Keith says Karen because she annihilated his heart. The A? Maybe you should add yourself to the being an Ass portion of the list, Keith. Seriously, I don’t know why Lucas continues to allow Keith to talk about his mother that way! Keith asks if Lucas wants to add anything else. He says Nathan. Keith thinks it’s because the marriage thing was tough. But Lucas means it to be for the Go portion of the list. Nathan turned out to be a good guy and while he thinks the whole marriage thing is weird, he’s proud of them. Keith tells Lucas that he can go back. However, Keith admits he did things that he doesn’t think he can go back and face right now, things he’s not proud of. He goes for a walk.

Haley and Nathan got to talk to Deb in the chapel. She tells him she may’ve called too late. Nathan says it’s not her fault. She tells Nathan a story about when he was little and had to be in the hospital. She cried in this same chapel because she new something was going to happen and she was going to lose him. He tells her that she didn’t. Haley puts her hand on Deb’s shoulder and says they’ll be there for her whatever she needs. Deb says thank you and rubs Haley’s hand. She feels something funny on what she has deduced to be Haley’s ring finger. She grabs Nathan’s hand and sees that yep, wedding rings. Nathan says they were going to tell her today. Haley starts to say how much she loves Nathan, but Deb can’t even look at her. She asks Nathan to tell her what he wanted to tell her. He tells her they got married. This is it. This is the moment she officially cracks. She starts to laugh and says she must be losing her mind. She stands at the front of the chapel away from them. Nathan says they’ll talk about it when Dan is well. She tells him that Dan is unconscious and may never wake up that she’s not even sure if they’re still married. She’s upset now and says this marriage thing has got be a joke. Haley starts to say something but Deb tells her to shut up. She starts telling Nathan that he did this to Dan. Haley starts to say something again but Deb tells her again to shut up, to shut her selfish little mouth. OMG, I can’t believe of all the people that have needed to be told to shut up and never were (JAKE!). Poor Haley. Deb starts in on Nathan again telling him that he walked away from Dan and Haley helped him do it. She blames the both of them and then walks out. Haley and Nathan sit there with shocked and meaningful stare face. Karen walks around the corner from seeing Whitey and finds Deb crying in the hallway. She asks her what up. Deb tells her Dan’s going to die, he had a heart attack. They hug and Deb blames herself that Dan is going to die.

Karen and Deb are now at the closed for the day Cafe. Even Karen is shocked that Haley would marry Nathan. Deb says that lately she just doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry or throw up. The order is super important because then she goes on to list recent events. She says Dan’s in the hospital (laugh), Nathan’s married (cry), Keith (throw up). Hahahahaha. Karen asks Deb if she’s called Keith. Deb says yes. Karen points out that it’s bad timing for Keith to be out of town, he’s good in a crisis. The crisis that is Karen’s life apparently, I guess. Deb asks how it is even possible that Nathan and Haley could even get married. Let the disembodied flashback show you the way, Deb!

Ok, so, I guess maybe there were fans out there way back when that wanted to know how Haley got to be so cool and so smart and so goofy and awesome. At first they want us to think maybe it’s because her mom is black. No, that’s not it. Then they seem to want us to think maybe it’s because she has two moms! No, that’s not it. Then comes the big reveal. Not only is Haley’s mom Bess Armstrong, but her dad is…HUEY LEWIS! That’s pretty big time. So, Huey walks in the house and is surprised to see his daughter in his house between the hours of 8AM and Midnight. Apparently, she’s never home…rockstar. He says hi to Nathan and it’s established once again that Nathan has found the front door. Both Lydia and Jimmy are very proud. Haley calls him daddy which alerts them that this is no ordinary request. Haley starts to explain how they know how cautious and thoughtful she is before she makes any decision. Nathan makes his pitch about how he is emancipated. Jimmy interrupts to say he knows what Nathan wants, but if they adopt him, the making out with Haley in public is gonna have to stop. Huey and Bess laugh and laugh while Haley pleads with them to serious for like a minute.  Nathan says he wants to marry Haley. The parents laugh some more then get serious when they realize that Naley is serious. Jimmy did not see that coming and Lydia tells Haley she’ll discuss it with Jimmy as long as it’s really what Haley wants. Haley says it is.

Ugh, back in the present, Brooke and Peyton are at the docks. Peyton explains that they were having so much fun and she didn’t want the letter to come between them. Brooke’s all, You think that would happen. I’m all, UM, YES! Duh, Brooke. Innyway, Peyton starts to recount a childhood memory where she and Brooke used to get up early every Tuesday morning to go ride their bike to the mall so she could get a new cd and Brooke could get makeup. They’d go back to Peyton’s and spend the day with their new stuff. Um, she doesn’t say during the summer. So, again, I ask you, when does the first bell ring in Tree Hill?! Truants. Peyton apologizes for not telling her about the letter she was just nervous and wanted her friend back. Brooke understands, they hug and walk down the pier laughing. Zzzzzzz….

Haley goes to see Karen at the Cafe and is surprised that it’s closed. Karen’s says her heart wasn’t in it. They hug and Haley says she wishes Karen could’ve been there, but it was all so sudden. Haley asks about Deb. She tells Karen Deb was pretty upset and she’s surprised by that because Deb was always supportive of Haley dating Nathan. Haley, Deb was going to stand and watch Dan die. Deb isn’t who any of us thought she was. Haley wants to make sure she has Karen’s approval. Karen tells her that she was also in love in high school, but love fades and she hopes it doesn’t fade for Haley.

Lucas calls Nathan who seems to be sitting on a bench outside the Cafe. He tells Lucas that Dan is still unconscious. Lucas let’s him know that he is there for them. Only not really because he’s in Charleston. Lucas asks how the marriage thing happened. FLASHBACK TIME! Long story short, Haley listens in from the stairs while Lydia convinces Jimmy to go along with it by invoking a She’s in Love with the Boy type scenario of sorts. FYI, it is established that Haley’s room is on the second story. I wish they would’ve shown us how Nathan got up there!

It’s dark time now so Peyton and Brooke have made a little fire on the beach. They decide that they’re done chasing boys and they need to focus on themselves. Brooke just wants to hook up, no relationships. They decide not to read the letter and throw it in the fire. Hrmph! Keith is walking around his new classroom. The car in there has a broken windshield and it reminds him of his last convo with Dan. Deb was right, you can’t escape what you’re running from. Lucas snaps him out it. Keith knows if they leave today they’ll never go back. Lucas is cheesey. I’m with Keith for once, why should they have to give it all up? Especially Keith. Why can’t Lucas just go back, let Keith establish himself in Charleston and then go visit Tree Hill in the summer. Everybody knows Dan’s too mean to die. Keith asks for one reason he should go back. Lucas says, “Becasuse he’s your brother.”

Huey & Bess

Music video portion of the episode! Haley has finished packing up her room. Karen goes to the hospital to visit Dan. Whitey has to have a tumor removed from his brain. Haley is crying because they don’t have doubles of CDs so she thinks a divorce is necessary. She wants to go back home. Oh, I see, she’s upset because everybody is against their union. She did have a rough day. Nathan assures her that he will always be there for her and protect her. We see their vows. Nathan and Haley say a bunch of romantical stuff, but the most important thing is he will love her ALWAYS AND FOREVER. That’s important! Lucas goes to see Karen at the Cafe and they hug. Whitey looks sad and scared and alone because his best friend abandoned him! Deb stares at divorce papers. Lucas shows up at the beach and surprises Peyton and Brooke and they all give meaningful stare. Keith shows up in Dan’s room and hugs Deb for a REALLY long time. Even I’m like, Get a room! Of course, that’s when Dan opens his eyes. And roll credits.

No, nobody addressed how they were able to get a license that fast or an officiant, or anything that goes along with some sort of official process for getting married. Meh.

Episode Notes:
PLOT: Everyone deals with the aftermath of Dan’s heart attack and Naley’s marriage announcement.

BEST PART: Haley and Nathan asking her parents if she can marry Nathan.

LESSON LEARNED: You can’t hide from your problems, they always find you.

BEST LINE: “She hates us, she keeps seeing him, maybe she gets pregnant, she drops out of school, she turns to a life of prostitution, whoa there she is smoking crack and sleeping in the gutter!” – Lydia James to Jimmy James    Hahahahaha!

Until next time…tooda loos!