June 25, 2016
The best part about this episode? Nobody fights! Everybody just has fun!
First, what the “Adults” are up to…
Dan apologizes to Lucas for not being there for him and Karen and wants him to help with his rehab. He gets Lucas to find the pictures he keeps in the lockbox in the drawer at work. Lucas is such a SUCKER and so cheesey easy. Dan tells Deb he wants to move back home. She talks to Karen about it and Karen tells her to do what’s best for Deb. She doesn’t think Deb needs to worry about what’s best for Dan all the time. If she allows Dan to move back in it should be because she wants him to. In this scene we also get the tell tale signs of an impending addiction problem for Deb, also note the length of her hair. Keith offers Lucas a job at the dealership but Lucas declines as he thinks Nathan could use the income more. Plus, he intends on helping out more at the Cafe as Karen attends classes.
Karen catches Keith drinking somebody else’s coffee and gets sad face. Later he tells her he loves her coffee (yeah, he does), but that he just can’t look at her anymore and he can’t be her friend anymore since she turned down his porposal. Real mature, Loser! Karen is now the heartbroken one as the person she thought was her BFFE now doesn’t want anything to do with her. Sad face for Karen. Later Dan and Deb start to scheme to get Nathan and Haley to split up and them get Nathan back. They’re awful!
Now, the kids…
Brooke and Peyton are helping Haley decorate the apartment while Tim is at the kitchen counter shopping for strippers. He wants to throw Nathan a bachelor party since he was cheated out of being able to do so. However, his whole party plan revolves around getting a stripper.Brooke thinks this is a great idea and decides she’s going to put together a bridal shower for Haley so that Haley can get some new stuff. Haley says she doesn’t need any new stuff. They make fun of her towel and her undershirt.
Later Nathan talks to Tim and tells him that it wasn’t cool to be talking about getting a stripper in front of Haley. Tim’s all, What’s the big deal and Nathan’s all, She’s my wife. Tim plants the idea that the stripper might also double as a prostitute or something. Tim says he remembers who Nathan used to be and pretty much encourages him to cheat on Haley with the stripper should the opportunity arise. Very strange.
Nathan walks in on Haley putting way too much spray to clean a countertop. Seriously, she uses A LOT of spray. She claims she’s straightening up the apartment for his party. He assures her she has nothing to worry about, that the party is mainly for Tim who is just threatened by the fact that Lucas already threw them a huge party. Tim wants to make sure he stays Nathan’s best friend. SPOILER ALERT: He doesn’t. Nathan tells Haley that besides, he’s not worried about what might happen at her bridal shower. Haley says it’s a bridal shower and it’s going to be the most boring thing ever.
Cut to the Cafe where Brooke tells her it’s going to be a rager! Of course it is, Brooke planned it and she has unlimited funds, right? RIGHT?! She says she’s going to teach Haley how to have some serious fun and takes her picture. We all know Brooke so we all know she’s getting her a fake ID.
Haley goes to see Lucas and walks in on all the guys from the River Court duct taping mouth to a rolling chair. She thinks it’s goofy guy stuff she’ll never understand. She wants Lucas to go to the bachelor party to look out for Nathan. Lucas says he will make the sacrifice and go. They buddy high five. I love it! Skills comes in and tells them that they’ve lined up trash cans like bowling pins and are going to slide Mouth into them. We hear a crash and Haley wants to be the next to roll him into the cans. See, she gets it, I don’t know why she was actin’.
Lucas and Gary show up to the apartment and Tim is disappointed they are not the stripper. Brooke, Peyton, and Haley are in a huge limo. Haley is excited. They pour champagne and Haley is worried about the price. Brooke says it doesn’t matter her father’s credit card is paying for it. Haley is also worried about drinking since her last experience ended with her throwing up in Dan’s lap. Everyone’s ew, and then they drink champagne. Haley still thinks this is going to be a nice and normal evening, not realizing how easy it is for Brooke to plan a party in a day. They put a blindfold on Haley.
Meanwhile the guys are back at the apartment playing NBA Live. Tim takes a Cosmo Girl quiz. Gary is unimpressed by this lame party. Tim puts in a video from his dad’s porno stash. It’s a video of his dad and stepmom (Sherry). He’s terrible.
Cut to the girls at the lingerie store. Brooke has the cheer squad model some items for Haley and then Haley tries some on.They get to have the store to themselves thanks to Brooke’s being a frequent customer. They have a lot of fun there and then pile into the limo for some more adventures.
Mouth was able to get a keg thanks to the fake ID from Brooke. He is with Skills and Fergie and some guys from the team heading up to Nathan’s apartment with it. For some reason there’s a couple of cops stationed in the parking lot. They see the boys and decide to go break up that party. Oh, they’re both lady cops. That’s important!
Brooke gives Haley her first fake ID. The name on it is Trudy Gill. Tutor Girl, haha. The limo bus comes to a screeching halt. Brooke is yelling at the driver that it’s broken down and he needs to get somebody out there to fix it sooner than in the next hour or two. Haley says they can just call Lucas to fix it. Peyton says she tried and his phone is off. A truck drives up and mechanic asks what seems to be the problem. Haley thinks it’s the engine. He puts his tool box on the ground and…he’s a stripper! Haley was totally fooled and Brooke and Peyton are proud of their acting chops.
Meanwhile back at the apartment, there’s a knock at the door and Tim thinks it’s the stripper. In walks the cops and he thinks they’re strippers. He’s so pervy that they are over the keg and decide to arrest Tim. The whole time he thinks it’s an act. Nathan and Lucas try to come to his defense, but since they have Tim being such the ultimate clown, they decide there’s no helping him and the cops take him away. He still doesn’t believe they’re cops as they drive away. The party limo bus drives by and they see Haley, Bevin, and the stripper dancing through the moon roof. The girls are having a GREAT time and the boys are not. The bus stops at a strip club and Brooke has arranged for the girls to get pole dance lessons. Peyton doesn’t think Haley will go for it, but Haley’s so drunk that she totally does, only she misses the pole and flies onto a couch. It’s pretty funny. Later Brooke is handed her credit card back saying it was declined. She give the guy another one, but that one is declined too. She wonders about his IOU policy. The girls end up having to clean dishes, but not Haley because she’s the guest of honor.
Peyton gives Haley some concoction to help with her hangover in the morning. I don’t know why it’s not water, that’s really the only thing that will help. Then Peyton tells her she should take the limo and go home. Haley says they probably think she’s crazy. They do. Brooke says they have a Nick and Jessica vibe and I get sad. I really wanted those two to work things out. I still do. I think I might have a sickness, but I don’t care. Nick and Jessica 4Evah! Innyway, Haley says she found the one she wanted to be with her first time out and if that’s not the goal then what are they doing? Brooke says having fun and Haley tells her love is fun. They give quick deep thought face. I swear, Lucas and Haley cause these two to have to think too hard sometimes. Haley thanks them and heads home.
The guys leave, having been Tim’d again. Mouth says they’ll go bail him out. Before Lucas leaves he gives Nathan a mechanic’s jumpsuit for Nathan to go work for Keith over at the dealership. He says it’ll pay more than the pretzel stand. Nathan is grateful. After everyone is gone the stripper finally shows up. He wants her to leave but she refuses and says she’s paid for so she’ll call a cab, but while she waits what does he wanna do? They end up playing NBA Live and Nathan loses. Nathan is really bad at that game! He loses all the time. She notices he’s already married, normally she gets called in before the wedding. She asks what it’s like and Nathan says Haley is great she’s the one for him. She admits she never called the cab because she has a car and then takes off her clothes and goes to his bedroom. Does Nathan follow her?! Seriously, since when are strippers and prostitutes the same thing? Is this like a normal thing? The stripper guy didn’t seem to have the same expectations of this stripper. Sometimes the depiction of women on this show is not right.
OMG, Haley is on her way home. What will she find when she gets there? We see Nathan go in his room and take his shirt off and say, “I want you.” It’s staged so that we don’t know who it is he’s talking to. It’s Haley! Well, we knew it was Haley because we could see the pink strap on her shoulder, but again, this is being presented in the wrong format. Innyway, he tells her that the stripper was good at NBA Live and he had to ask her to leave. They have lovey dovey all I want is you talk and then Haley goes to model her new lingerie.
Brooke and Peyton are now in the limo headed home. They have a deep conversation about what Haley said about dating and all that it’s supposed to be to find love. The whole thing sounds scary to them. Peyton is afraid to wake up one day and find out that she, herself, is the disappointment. Brooke wonders how they’re going to pay for the limo.
The next day…music video time! Sounds like Jimmy Eat World. Nathan’s dressed for work and Haley tells him not to change when he gets home. They’re so cute! But only because it’s a TV show. Brooke discovers that all of her credit cards are no good. Oh no, what does this mean?! We see Karen go to school looking hopeful and ready for new challenges. We see Keith happy to see Nathan report for duty. We see Dan moving back into Casa de Scott and Lucas going to help him. Lucas tells him that the pic in the lockbox doesn’t change anything. Then WHY are you there? Lucas is such a SUCKER and cheesey easy! Roll credits.
PLOT: It’s Tim’s Bachelor Party for Nathan VS. Brooke’s Bridal Shower for Haley.
BEST PART: The bridal shower. It’s great to see the girls having fun together and NOT fighting!
LESSON LEARNED: Sometimes people disappoint you and sometimes they don’t.
BEST LINE: “Oh, don’t take it personal, he thought you were the stripper.” – Nathan Scott to Lucas Scott Yeah, I don’t know.
Until next time…tooda loos!