July 14, 2016

Ooo, the previouslies have an alternate take on the Haley and Dan meeting from last episode. When he shows her that Nathan signed the papers she doesn’t just give meaningful stare, she yells, “There’s no way that he signed this.” Why would they do that? Why would they put in such a change? Any guesses? I don’t know, I really don’t.

OMG, this episode is crazy! And Jimmy Eat World sings and sings and sings.

It starts out with voiceovers and it ends with voiceovers. They are all having to write dumb stuff as their English final. As it turns out, Haley did not return for finals after all so Lucas is sad. Oh, the topic of their English final?…

There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart’s desire. The other is to gain it. -George Bernard Shaw

The kids are to write an essay discussing the quote. My interpretation of the quote? George Bernard Shaw was a pompous ass that nobody liked and he said a lot of dumb shit. Our kids however get stuck on the word tragedy and I don’t think they fully ever grasp the concept of the quote. Maybe I’m Dan-ing this one, but imma stick with my thesis.

Oh, why is this episode crazy? Well, let’s go a bit out of order, much like this episode does. It’s all over the place. I’m still not sure if the beginning is the end or if the end is the beginning. Like is it one big flashback from the Jimmy Eat World concert at TRIC or is it one big flashback from the roof of the Cafe? Idk, but here’s what happens with the “adults”.

Andy tells Karen that his mom fell in New Zealand and she needs him to go to there. He is afraid he won’t be able to get back in the USA as Dan is trying to get him deported. Karen is MAD. She goes to the dealership and yells at Dan to stay out of her life. Dan gets creepy and rapes Karen in the face. Well, he force kisses her and that makes her angrier. She throws a chair at the window to his office and breaks more of it than Kieth did that one time. Andy goes to pay Dan a visit. He informs Dan that the front door of the dealership is never locked which is IMPORTANT! Dan says it’s because no one can hurt him. Andy is all, actually, I own the company that installed your security cameras so I can pretty much do some unethical shit while trying to act like I’m morally superior to you. Dan is all, hmmm. As Andy leaves he asks Dan where the ledger is. Dan is actually really upset. He grabs a giant glass trophy off his desk and throws it at the window he just had fixed as Andy is walking by it. Seriously, he could have killed Andy! Of course, Andy just says to leave the mess as he has other plans for the space when he buys it. Dan, even after knowing what he knows, goes to his safe to make sure the ledger is still there, it is. Andy is watching the security feed from the car. Later Andy goes to see Karen to tell her he is leaving and she is sad, but when he asks her to go with him she gives all these excuses like she has a kid, 2 businesses, her friend is in rehab, etc. Like basically all legit excuses, but Andy knows she’s really just worried about Keith. He asks her to give an envelope to Lucas and she says sure. As he leaves she tells him that she really does love him. He says he loves her but it just doesn’t feel like enough.

Whitey makes an appearance, but mostly just to tell Nathan that he’s grown a heart to play the game to his fullest potential and he should go to High Flyers. Whatever, no one told Nathan not to go in the first place, especially Haley. Ugh. It’s all bogus as I do not sympathize with Nathan regarding High Flyers AT ALL! Of course, Dan cooks steak for dinner and over that tells Nathan that going to High Flyers probably isn’t such a good idea. Dan’s logic being that Nathan’s injury may lead to him not playing well enough for the scouts. He appeals to the budding mamma’s boy in Nathan and says Deb will be home soon and she’ll need him. He lies that Deb’s pill addiction started the day Nathan got emancipated.

So, the episode begins and ends with Lucas on top of the Cafe so that’s why I think it may be a flashback from that moment and it probably takes place after the all ages night at TRIC which is where the bulk of the flash backing occurs, but if it’s really from the rooftop, then in a sense the bulk of the flash backing takes place from there. IDK and it’s probs not that important. It is important to note that the mini golf setup is all gone and the roof is completely clear. Sad. Of course we don’t know that at first because it starts with Lucas meeting Haley on the roof to play golf only for it just to be a memory and really it’s all gone. So I don’t know if that moment prompts him to want to go see Haley or if it’s prompted by his visit with Haley in New York. Sometimes this show is too deep even for me!

Let’s talk Peyton for a second. So, Peyton spends time happy and sad during this episode. But even so, she may not really be that sad based on her essay quote. She says something about how she got her heart’s desire and even though it brought about heartache at least she feels something now and she’d rather have that than to never have had it. Eye roll. It’s Jake, he’s no catch, trust me! Innyway, she spends most of the night at TRIC standing outside and staring down sadly at the parking lot. For like what must be two hours she looks like this…

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and it’s revealed at the end that she’s been staring at this…

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OMG, blargh. So the reason for the tears? She managed to light a fire under those fancy lawyers’ asses and they found something in the court transcript that helped Jake’s case. To further unnecessarily villainize Nikki, it turns out she’s been lying about going to college, in fact, she hadn’t been there for awhile even before she came to Tree Hill. So, since she lied under oath, Jake will get Jenny back and a chance at a new custody hearing. Of course, Nikki somehow found Jenny in Florida and has her now. She surprises Jake with this news and of course there are no guards or any law enforcement around to stop her. Lawless town! So Jake rides off on his motorbike and unfortunately, it’s not the last we see of him. And just as an FYI, when he goes to tell Peyton he has to leave again he tells Peyton that he could’ve held her in his arms forever and it still wouldn’t’ve been long enough. Ugh, shut up, Jake! Jake rides away, Peyton cries. Roll credits.

Face Part and Erica Marsh are an item. So what? Who cares?

How about that now useless human, Nathan? Well, I would say that his whole storyline this episode is bogus, but since I’ve seen the equivalent of it at the private high school that I went to, it’s not really bogus at all. Nathan spends the entire school day in the gym shooting baskets and trying get his vertical back up to the rim. He doesn’t go to a single class. Only Lucas ever goes to talk to him. Well, I guess at one point he does go stare at the Tutor Center sign and Peyton tells him that Jake is getting out of the clink and is going to get Jenny back. She says she’s sorry she’s happy, which was like dumb because Nathan wasn’t begrudging her happiness or anything. Peyton’s just annoying. Innyway, he tells her no worries, sometimes they come back right? Which is in reference to a sketch she gave him although I don’t remember when because it’s really hard for me to pay attention when she’s on the screen. This is the sketch…

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In any case, Lucas goes to tell Nathan about the English assignment and that he’ll help him with it. He also tells Nathan that he’ll heal in time and his game will be back in due time. Nathan doesn’t want to just shoot soft jumpers, we all know that he just wants to take the rock to the hole. Later towards the end we see Lucas tell Nathan that he went to visit a friend. Nathan wonders if he knows the person and Lucas tells him no. Why would he say that? Well more on that later. Way later Nathan is able to dunk again, but in doing so he pops open his surgical incision that was obviously made by a butcher and not a surgeon. Nathan’s essay voiceover is that Shaw was a punk (accurate) and then saying other stuff that doesn’t make any sense and is bogus considering how he behaves later. Nathan is a punk!

So Lucas is sitting in English class getting the worst final assignment ever and he spies an empty seat. Normally, it wouldn’t be empty as Haley should be sitting in it. Brooke notices and points out that Haley didn’t make it back for finals. Duh. Well, Lucas decides he needs to go visit her and asks Brooke to come along. He says he started the year with Haley and he doesn’t want to finish it without seeing her. They DRIVE to New York. On the way Brooke brings up how she thinks it’s weird they’re now living under the same roof considering just a semester before they were togetherish. It is weird so of course Lucas doesn’t think it is. She asks if he’s been talking to Peyton much. He says not really, but he wishes he was in her life more. Now they’re both being weird. She says that she knows what loss he’ll be talking about in his essay. He informs her that he lost himself this year and in so doing lost people he cared about. Brooke is like seeing him for the first time. Children. Lucas tells Brooke that he hopes she’s OK with the fact that he plans on spending most of his time with Haley and that it’s just really important that he focuses on Haley during the visit. Brooke is all, mkay, everything else can wait. She of course is referencing her recent finding of Peyton’s Box. See what I did there?

When they walk to the backstage dressing area of wherever, they see Chris tickling Haley on the couch. It would look really bad if Haley wasn’t involved, but come on, it’s Haley. She is surprised to see them and she rushes over to give Lucas a hug. She hugs Brooke and indicates to Lucas that she is surprised to see them together. Chris tries to flirt with Brooke but everyone tells him to shut up and he leaves.The tour manager, Joey D., comes into the room to tell Haley it’s time for radio interviews. Haley pretends to be sick so she can go play with her friends. This is the Haley we were introduced to, straight up and confident, I’ve missed this Haley. In fact, Joy actually sounds pretty hoarse so it’s legit to say that Haley isn’t feeling well. They go to the hotel and Lucas doesn’t want to go anywhere he just wants to talk. Brooke takes this as her cue to go shopping now that her allowance is back in business. Although, she should’ve stayed so she could get a lesson in how real best friends communicate! Haley tells Lucas that the thing with her and Chris was innocent they were just messing around. Lucas is all, Yeah, like we used to do. Awww, Lucas doesn’t really give a crap about Nathan right now, he thinks Haley has replaced him. Haley goes to give him a hug (we all know she thinks hugs can get her out of anything) and says she missed him.

Later they go for a walk in the park.  She thinks he’s there because of Nathan and starts to defend herself by saying that Nathan told her not to come back. Lucas tells her that the visit isn’t really about that turd at all. His visit is about them, he misses his friend. He looked over at her empty seat and realized that not too long ago it was just the two of them against the world and it just felt wrong that she wasn’t there. Haley asks if he thinks it was wrong for her to have left. He doesn’t think it was wrong. She stood by him when he left the River Court and he’s going to stand by her, he always will even when he doesn’t understand. Haley is grateful because sometimes she doesn’t understand. At that some chicks that saw her play the night before ask for her autograph.

Meanwhile back at the hotel, Chris is on the bed playing guitar when Brooke walks into the suite. He flirts with Brooke, but she’s not having it. She’s about to tell him to go F himself when Haley and Lucas walk into the room. Chris says she was hitting on him and no one takes him seriously. He tells Haley they missed her, but no bigs because there was more time to talk about him. Brooke does this awesome thing where she acts like she can’t breathe and Haley gets worried, but then Brooke says she can’t breathe because there’s no room with Chris’s ego. It’s very funny. Haley goes to see what Brooke bought and Lucas stays behind to confront Chris. As it turns out, Chris is kind of a reasonable guy. He tells Lucas that he and Haley never did it. Then he stings Lucas with a I’ve talked to her more than you these last few months jab. He says that to be in the business you have to be selfish, you’re either all in or out. He’s just trying to help Haley, it’s no different than what Lucas is trying to do. Chris is like an adult and Lucas is a child. It is what it is. And just when Lucas is starting to see things from Chris’s perspective, Chris says to tell Brooke he said hi. Well, I never said Chris wasn’t a cad.

Later that night, Haley and Lucas are sharing the bed and talking. She apologizes for the fan thing, but he’s ok with it because he’s proud of her. He does say that it’s killing Nathan though. He doesn’t understand why it has to be one or the other, music or Nathan. Um, Luke, that’s a question for Nathan since he’s the one that turned it into that. He notices that Haley isn’t wearing her ring. She says it’s because she doesn’t feel like she deserves to wear it. She says that things were so much simpler when it was just her and Lucas. Lucas buddy holds her hand and gently informs her that it no longer is just the two of them. Awww.

In the morning Haley gives Lucas her English final. He thinks she’s more nerd than rock star. She says she still is Tutor Girl and the topic was an easy one for her. She’s probably the only one who understands it anyway. Lucas wonders if this means she’s coming back soon. She tells him that she doesn’t intend to return home, tour buses and hotel rooms are her life now. Lucas is sad face. She also gives him the annulment papers to give to Nathan. They tell each other goodbye. He gives her a real hug, not gimpy hand hug and says that he’ll always be there for her and she’ll always be his best friend. Awww. Tear.

On the way back Brooke notices that Lucas looks sad. She knows he misses Haley and he says it’s hard to let someone go. She softens to him on the subject of Peyton and says it’s ok that he’s into Peyton. He gives her stink face because I he doesn’t know what the H E double hockey sticks she is talking about.

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She says she’s avoided the subject the whole trip, but that she found Peyton’s Box in his closet and it’s fine. Instead of just blurting out to Brooke that he’s not into Peyton at the moment, he’s into her, he opts to just stay all angsty teenager about it.

Haley is in her hotel room dressed in a really cute outfit and her hair looks great! She gets her putter and a golf ball and puts a glass down. She’s about to shoot a few holes when Joey D. walks in and kicks it. I don’t get why he does that, they make putting greens for offices so it’s not like it’s unheard of to have a little putt putt set up, stupid Joey D. He asks what that was and Haley says it was just kid stuff. He has the new tour posters and she is featured on them. Her essay voiceover talks about how she got everything she ever wished for and more but ended up losing a lot too. Um, she only lost stuff because her husband is a dum dum dip.

Lucas’s voiceover is heard while he’s on the rooftop. So it does take place after his New York visit! Innyway, he says that Shaw was right. His essay is probably the best one. I take it back, Haley AND Lucas are the only ones that probably fully understood the assignment. He blathers on about how in grasping for what we think we desire, we miss out on the important stuff we already have like friends and family or whatever.

The Top 3 Things I Really Don’t Get About This Episode

3. Why do they think we care about Face Part and Jake?

2. Why does Lucas say that he didn’t see anyone that Nathan knew. I thought Haley was the most Haley she’s been all season.

1. HOW THE FUDGESTICKS DID PEYTON GET JIMMY EAT WORLD TO PLAY TRIC? HOOOOOOW??????????

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Until next time…tooda loos!

 

 

 

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